Sunday, April 26, 2009

Suicide Prevention

Tread carefully if you ever call the Suicide Prevention Hotline. The wrong operator could make you feel worse. Early this morning I was having one of those times we all have where we'd like to die and go straight to heaven, but we're not going to kill ourselves because that could be a terminal sin. I was on the verge of wishing I could catch a stray bullet that would dispatch me painlessly and blamelessly to eternal bliss, but I willed myself to leave it up to God whether He wished to deliver me or keep me in the battle. I was anxious, scared, angry, couldn't sleep. (Never mind what it was about. If anyone out there cares enough to ask I will be very surprised, especially in light of what happened next.)

... So I called SPH and gave a succinct answer to the operator's question regarding the nature of my problem. Then she asked, "Is there anything else you'd like to discuss tonight?" I said no. Surely it would be enough if she could comment on what I had already said. No dice. Instead she crisply said, "Well, have a good night then." Was she closing our conversation before it even opened? I recovered from shock in time to say, "Hey! That's not nice. You were supposed to make me feel better." But she rejoined, "Well, I'm sorry if I didn't," without missing a beat.

SPH's website says you can call if you merely need to talk to someone who cares. But if you really need this, I hope you have a better option or that you at least get a better operator.

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