Tcm
-
Absolute treasure, precious. Reminds me of how much I miss teaching
preschool and working as a nanny. Just like her I loved singing to my
children
6 years ago
Friday, May 28, 2010
Pursuant to Recent Cob-Oriented Post
I'm close to being able to trade some solvency for shelter. But maybe I shouldn't act so fast. My cat and my dog could both benefit from elective surgery. How would I feel if I spent the money on a building project and left the animals waiting longer for relief?
Nobody Know's What it's Like ...
... to suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder. It's a torment, but I persevere every day.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
More on Cob
Cob in my neighborhood is cheaper than I ever dreamed it would be. It breaks down to about $2 per cubic foot. I need less than 800 cubic feet. Then I just need to commission an Amish roof and get down a technique for a few doors and windows. And my bank account? It's almost there!! Just $1000 will get me started; $2000 will get me so close I might as well renew the permit. $3000 will cap me off, whereas folks in less lucky locations have paid as much as $3500 for similar projects. I'm on easy street. Because I live on easy street. ;)
Why Clay is Dirt Cheap in my Neighborhood
I noticed a long time ago that, everywhere I dug at my place In Pennsylvania, I got clay -- not the nicest material for gardening. I fought it long and hard and finally got a good garden. Now, however, I want clay for my cob building project. Here is a quote from http://www.quoits.info/clay/clay.html that I find interesting:
Among the farmlands of Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, the soil is rich and fertile, and excellent for growing crops. But another favorable feature of this ground... is the large amount of naturally occurring clay soils. This clay was most likely formed from sedimentary deposits of the Susquehanna River on the western edge of the county, and other small creeks that flow though the area on their way into the river. Water is a natural producer of fine silt and clay, so many soils near these waterways can be composed almost entirely of clay. To find naturally-occurring sources of clay, you should first look in areas like this. If you can gain public access to property along streams or rivers, look along the stream banks and the ground just above them.
Well, I have a stream, so that explains it. The article also lists a source for the dirt-cheap clay, assuming I want to buy by the ton (and I do!)
Among the farmlands of Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, the soil is rich and fertile, and excellent for growing crops. But another favorable feature of this ground... is the large amount of naturally occurring clay soils. This clay was most likely formed from sedimentary deposits of the Susquehanna River on the western edge of the county, and other small creeks that flow though the area on their way into the river. Water is a natural producer of fine silt and clay, so many soils near these waterways can be composed almost entirely of clay. To find naturally-occurring sources of clay, you should first look in areas like this. If you can gain public access to property along streams or rivers, look along the stream banks and the ground just above them.
Well, I have a stream, so that explains it. The article also lists a source for the dirt-cheap clay, assuming I want to buy by the ton (and I do!)
Monday, May 24, 2010
Another Chat with My Russian Friend
me: I'm back. I missed you.
5 minutes
11:31 PM Mel: Hey! How have you been?
11:35 PM me: I feel strange. I wrote something... I don't know how I feel about what I wrote. I spent the weekend traveling with a friend, and I thought he was selfish and mean. Well, maybe I was expecting too much in terms of altruism...
but...
I do insist that people treat me respectfully. I don't want people shouting at me or telling me what to do or putting me down.
11:36 PM Mel: Why did he shoutat you?
me: So I wrote this letter. He probably lost patience...
11:37 PM In one instance I wanted to walk 1/3 mile down the hill to get ginger ale or coke to fix my stomach. I said I'd be back...
11:38 PM He said I should wait for him by the car instead because it was too far to walk. Well, aside from the stomach ache I was healthy as a horse, so I didn't think it was far to walk at all. Besides, the car was a lonely place to be and it was locked up. So I told him...
I told him that, if he wasn't at the car, I'd come back up the hill to watch the races with him, and he shouted, "Don't!" in a very demanding, commanding tone of voice...
I'll never know exactly where he was coming from.
11:39 PM So when I got to the car and he wasn't there I took a little walk...
Mel: Hmm... That's strange.
Perhaps he was in a bad mood.
me: And when he never came back I went back to the races and he acted strangely normal
I said, "You didn't want me to see this?"
Mel: What races are these?
11:40 PM me: He said, "I didn't think you were interested." So that's the only explanation I got.
Car races.
Mel: Very strange.
me: Sometimes he shouted at me to get going because I was tarrying too long.
11:41 PM And he made me wake up long before I wanted to at camp. It's like he wasn't even looking for a way to accommodate me. He didn't take an apologetic tone. He just told me to get up and held firm, which I thought was rude.
Do you want to see what I wrote to him?
It
11:42 PM It's at icantcomplain2.blogspot.com
I feel bad about it because I mentioned an episode from 10 years ago that he confided in me... I thought it would make him realize that I had a leg to stand on in complaining about his manners but...
I think it mainly just hurt his feelings, so now I feel pretty sad.
11:44 PM Mel: That's a larger letter. I'll have a look at it later today. I now have to proofread a quite chunky technical text.
I'm sorry you had such a bad weekend.
me: Thanks.
Mel: Maybe he'll understand his fault and will make it up to you later?
me: When might we discuss a new format for [shop talk omitted here]? I was thinking...
11:45 PM Oh, maybe, I don't know... I'm thinking probably not. He thinks I'm overly sensitive.
Mel: You can write a brief of what you are thinking about them, what we can change and then we can discuss it.
11:46 PM me: I was thinking the new format is a challenge because we would [shop talk omitted from here on out.]
5 minutes
11:31 PM Mel: Hey! How have you been?
11:35 PM me: I feel strange. I wrote something... I don't know how I feel about what I wrote. I spent the weekend traveling with a friend, and I thought he was selfish and mean. Well, maybe I was expecting too much in terms of altruism...
but...
I do insist that people treat me respectfully. I don't want people shouting at me or telling me what to do or putting me down.
11:36 PM Mel: Why did he shoutat you?
me: So I wrote this letter. He probably lost patience...
11:37 PM In one instance I wanted to walk 1/3 mile down the hill to get ginger ale or coke to fix my stomach. I said I'd be back...
11:38 PM He said I should wait for him by the car instead because it was too far to walk. Well, aside from the stomach ache I was healthy as a horse, so I didn't think it was far to walk at all. Besides, the car was a lonely place to be and it was locked up. So I told him...
I told him that, if he wasn't at the car, I'd come back up the hill to watch the races with him, and he shouted, "Don't!" in a very demanding, commanding tone of voice...
I'll never know exactly where he was coming from.
11:39 PM So when I got to the car and he wasn't there I took a little walk...
Mel: Hmm... That's strange.
Perhaps he was in a bad mood.
me: And when he never came back I went back to the races and he acted strangely normal
I said, "You didn't want me to see this?"
Mel: What races are these?
11:40 PM me: He said, "I didn't think you were interested." So that's the only explanation I got.
Car races.
Mel: Very strange.
me: Sometimes he shouted at me to get going because I was tarrying too long.
11:41 PM And he made me wake up long before I wanted to at camp. It's like he wasn't even looking for a way to accommodate me. He didn't take an apologetic tone. He just told me to get up and held firm, which I thought was rude.
Do you want to see what I wrote to him?
It
11:42 PM It's at icantcomplain2.blogspot.com
I feel bad about it because I mentioned an episode from 10 years ago that he confided in me... I thought it would make him realize that I had a leg to stand on in complaining about his manners but...
I think it mainly just hurt his feelings, so now I feel pretty sad.
11:44 PM Mel: That's a larger letter. I'll have a look at it later today. I now have to proofread a quite chunky technical text.
I'm sorry you had such a bad weekend.
me: Thanks.
Mel: Maybe he'll understand his fault and will make it up to you later?
me: When might we discuss a new format for [shop talk omitted here]? I was thinking...
11:45 PM Oh, maybe, I don't know... I'm thinking probably not. He thinks I'm overly sensitive.
Mel: You can write a brief of what you are thinking about them, what we can change and then we can discuss it.
11:46 PM me: I was thinking the new format is a challenge because we would [shop talk omitted from here on out.]
Letter Sent to Erstwhile Travel Companion who Offended
Hi Mike,
Remember about 10 years ago when you said your other [erstwhile] friends thought you were an "a-%*)$" and I was the only one you had left? I figure those people did you wrong in as much as they blew out the door without any discussion. I'm not exactly blowing out the door myself but I feel there should be some dialog.
You say I'm overly sensitive about little things, but think about it. It's in the little things we say and do -- a tone of voice, an expression of attitude -- that we express respect or lack thereof. It's not my job to tell people how to behave outside of any relationship with me, but I do insist on being treated with respect. Yesterday even as we were trying to work things out I noticed that you scoffed at me three times. It was just more of the same. In dance class you caught it on tape, but with me you didn't catch it at all.
I said to my father, "Do you think there will come a point where Mike forgets the stuff about thinking I'm overly sensitive and just remembers that he hurt me and he should try to behave?" But Dad said, no, he didn't think you would because you didn't strike him as the kind of guy who would consider information that might reflect badly on himself. I don't think he's entirely right about that because you did tape yourself in class and you stopped making disrespectful comments there.
Let me tell you about the trip. I actually had something of a good time. I played my guitar and had no work to do and a pleasant change of scenery. I got $48 worth of retail therapy whereas I hardly ever get to spend an appreciable amount of discretionary money. For an old gal, I pretty much had a blast. That doesn't mean I wasn't taken aback by some of the stuff you said. I don't see any contradiction there. Somehow you do, and that's a mystery to me.
The trip started badly when I had to pull every card out of my sleeve to save our plans from the impasse you set up. Somehow you thought it was more important to leave yourself the option of hanging out late if you felt like it, than to let me get back here in time to help my family. (This was before I worked out an alternate date with Bobby et al.) When I got off the phone I said to my mother, "I don't know how anyone could be that mean." And she said, "If he's that mean, why are you going?" I said, "Because I don't want to be a fink. He spent the money and we made a plan; I owe it to him to go." And that was that. I decided that I would make the best of it that I possibly could even though I didn't really feel like going. And I succeeded in that. I started off by giving you flowers and saying, "Happy vacation, Michael K!" I also made a point of not reacting too quickly when I thought I was being slighted, but to wait and think things over, sleep on them, and see how I ultimately felt. I succeeded in that, because I have a lot of practice in that kind of restraint. It is my usual habit. I did good last weekend!
[Text omitted -- makes little sense out of context and doesn't contribute to post.]
-- Kitty
P.S. The buckwheat benefitted me, too, with a few calls from Mother Nature. I think we should both make buckwheat a regular part of our diets.
Remember about 10 years ago when you said your other [erstwhile] friends thought you were an "a-%*)$" and I was the only one you had left? I figure those people did you wrong in as much as they blew out the door without any discussion. I'm not exactly blowing out the door myself but I feel there should be some dialog.
You say I'm overly sensitive about little things, but think about it. It's in the little things we say and do -- a tone of voice, an expression of attitude -- that we express respect or lack thereof. It's not my job to tell people how to behave outside of any relationship with me, but I do insist on being treated with respect. Yesterday even as we were trying to work things out I noticed that you scoffed at me three times. It was just more of the same. In dance class you caught it on tape, but with me you didn't catch it at all.
I said to my father, "Do you think there will come a point where Mike forgets the stuff about thinking I'm overly sensitive and just remembers that he hurt me and he should try to behave?" But Dad said, no, he didn't think you would because you didn't strike him as the kind of guy who would consider information that might reflect badly on himself. I don't think he's entirely right about that because you did tape yourself in class and you stopped making disrespectful comments there.
Let me tell you about the trip. I actually had something of a good time. I played my guitar and had no work to do and a pleasant change of scenery. I got $48 worth of retail therapy whereas I hardly ever get to spend an appreciable amount of discretionary money. For an old gal, I pretty much had a blast. That doesn't mean I wasn't taken aback by some of the stuff you said. I don't see any contradiction there. Somehow you do, and that's a mystery to me.
The trip started badly when I had to pull every card out of my sleeve to save our plans from the impasse you set up. Somehow you thought it was more important to leave yourself the option of hanging out late if you felt like it, than to let me get back here in time to help my family. (This was before I worked out an alternate date with Bobby et al.) When I got off the phone I said to my mother, "I don't know how anyone could be that mean." And she said, "If he's that mean, why are you going?" I said, "Because I don't want to be a fink. He spent the money and we made a plan; I owe it to him to go." And that was that. I decided that I would make the best of it that I possibly could even though I didn't really feel like going. And I succeeded in that. I started off by giving you flowers and saying, "Happy vacation, Michael K!" I also made a point of not reacting too quickly when I thought I was being slighted, but to wait and think things over, sleep on them, and see how I ultimately felt. I succeeded in that, because I have a lot of practice in that kind of restraint. It is my usual habit. I did good last weekend!
[Text omitted -- makes little sense out of context and doesn't contribute to post.]
-- Kitty
P.S. The buckwheat benefitted me, too, with a few calls from Mother Nature. I think we should both make buckwheat a regular part of our diets.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Tuesday Evening
Good! The ELO/Pandora music (featuring the Beatles -- see last post) has helped the cat to get some sleep. I wanted him to sleep in preference to hunting on this cold and rainy day. Rainy days are statistically unkind to cats who live near public thoroughfares.
Let's see... What do I have to do?
__ dishes
__ laundry
__ give cat medicine
__ give dogs medicine
__ bring in dog food mega-sack from car
__ send $100 to Russ
__ write out a rent check for my current situation
__ get warm
__ dust furniture
__ vaccuum 2nd floor?
__ fix dinner
Obviously I'm not going to get to everything in the next 4 hours, but I may as well lay it out before I prioritize, pick and choose. To resume, then...
__ write about [I'll have to think of an alias for the guy]
__ write about Mel's lazy people (has to do with recent post)
__ check in with this blog later just by way of feeling connected to the world
__ read from the Bible
Billy Joel came on the radio. He annoys me a little.
Let's see... What do I have to do?
__ dishes
__ laundry
__ give cat medicine
__ give dogs medicine
__ bring in dog food mega-sack from car
__ send $100 to Russ
__ write out a rent check for my current situation
__ get warm
__ dust furniture
__ vaccuum 2nd floor?
__ fix dinner
Obviously I'm not going to get to everything in the next 4 hours, but I may as well lay it out before I prioritize, pick and choose. To resume, then...
__ write about [I'll have to think of an alias for the guy]
__ write about Mel's lazy people (has to do with recent post)
__ check in with this blog later just by way of feeling connected to the world
__ read from the Bible
Billy Joel came on the radio. He annoys me a little.
Music on a Tuesday
I have my ELO station on Pandora, the house to myself, chores to do, coffee to drink...
Something just came on the radio. Pandora knows its members. This has been my favorite song for most of my life. (Before it came out I'm told my favorite was another Beatles song, but I don't remember very much before this song came out. And I'm sure there were others I liked in-between... Where was I going with this? Oh, yeah, I think every child in my class loved this song, because, when the music teacher played it for my 7th grade chorus a sigh went through the crowd of kids. It was a blast from the past for everybody.
Something just came on the radio. Pandora knows its members. This has been my favorite song for most of my life. (Before it came out I'm told my favorite was another Beatles song, but I don't remember very much before this song came out. And I'm sure there were others I liked in-between... Where was I going with this? Oh, yeah, I think every child in my class loved this song, because, when the music teacher played it for my 7th grade chorus a sigh went through the crowd of kids. It was a blast from the past for everybody.
Modeling Today
I don't see any problem with charging $25 for an hour session 3 miles away while I'm dirt poor and just getting back into modeling. Stay on the left side of the balance sheet, you know?
My new client is a recording technician who likes to sketch people. I asked him if he might set up my home studio equipment in lieu of payment for a modeling gig. He said that was doable. that's the type of flexible business relationship I can expect for keeping my prices reasonable in the first place.
My new client is a recording technician who likes to sketch people. I asked him if he might set up my home studio equipment in lieu of payment for a modeling gig. He said that was doable. that's the type of flexible business relationship I can expect for keeping my prices reasonable in the first place.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Nicola Called
Ah, the mysterious Nicola. He does a little of this and a little of that, but nobody knows what he's really about. He takes everyone in small doses, including me. But today he called me. Imagine that!
Is it possible to have deep-dish dialog with Nicola? He has an icon online that says he's available to chat... I actually have chatted with him, probably just once online. I wonder what he talks about with other people. Relativity? Chess? Probably not economics; I couldn't seem to get into that topic with him. And I'm not much for relativity or chess.
Is it possible to have deep-dish dialog with Nicola? He has an icon online that says he's available to chat... I actually have chatted with him, probably just once online. I wonder what he talks about with other people. Relativity? Chess? Probably not economics; I couldn't seem to get into that topic with him. And I'm not much for relativity or chess.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Archaological Find
While cleaning my junk today I found a piece of paper I had scribbled on. It read:
rescue bot rockets
into position
beneath falling [sky-]diver
& deploys stiff inflated
surface, phasing into
parachute mode
rescue bot rockets
into position
beneath falling [sky-]diver
& deploys stiff inflated
surface, phasing into
parachute mode
Friday, May 7, 2010
Chat with Russian Friend
Mel is in Russia and that's not his real name.
me: Hi
11:27 PM Mel: Hey!
me: As you can see, I still have some work to do.
11:28 PM Halloween was the hardest thing to write about. In fact, my community already went over to the controversy.
11:29 PM Mel: Why was it hard?
me: There's so much fighting about Halloween here. One community after another is taking it out of schools. I thought Pennsylvania was ahead of the curve in this matter but when I googled it the first example that came up was from Texas.
11:30 PM Mel: It's news to me. I thought everyone liked this holiday.
me: And it's not just the fighting. I have to admit, I pretty much side with the faction that doesn't want Halloween to be a spooky masquerade. The Church Vigil part is OK by me.
11:31 PM Mel: OK, I'll have a look then.
11:32 PM me: Historically, this is very interesting.
11:33 PM It's good to see you, though. I was lonely. And I was working very hard on so many things -- teaching my class, gardening, taking care of my animals, helping my family, trying to fix my mother's computer (this time I wasn't able to do it by myself.)
11:34 PM My dog has come over to the computer.
11:35 PM Mel: You've got so many things to do!
I think that's good.
For me it's also going to be a very busy day.
Friday usually is crazy.
But then weekend is coming. Time to rest.
11:36 PM me: Oh, yes.
11:38 PM There is a pretty, smart and popular girl in the class I teach. I noticed that boys misbehave to make her happy instead of behaving to make me happy. This time she had boys playing tag with her in class, so I asked another teacher to come in and yell at her. I didn't know what else to do. I can't yell and I had already asked everyone to behave.
Mel: How old are they?
11:39 PM me: seven and eight, mostly. Maybe some are six. The girl I talked about, Chloe is eight.
They've been sitting still for six hours by the time I get there.
They're ready to break loose.
I think their school day is too long.
11:40 PM I wish I could teach this on a Sunday instead.
Mel: 6 hours is far too long.
That's strange that boys already start to behave like this in front of girls. Isn't it too early for them?
11:41 PM me: I don't know. Sometimes it happens with some kids. I noticed one seven-year-old boy had a girlfriend.
When I was in Kindergarten I liked a boy and he liked me too. But we didn't talk about it.
Mel: Wow!
me: I know.
11:42 PM Some boys think girls are icky and don't want to play with them.
That sounds more like my generation.
11:43 PM Mel: Interestingly, people start paying paying attention to such kind of stuff at this early age, but marriages tend to be later and later.
11:44 PM me: I've read things in the Bible that remind me of that.
If I'm not mistaken, some passages that refer to economic downturns say something like, "... and maidens and young men languished."
11:45 PM The Jews in the Bible apparently had the sense to build houses for their kids when they wanted them to get married.
Now kids figure they can't afford the house or anything else so they just forget about it for a long time.
11:47 PM I don't know what gave me the idea they were building the houses. I don't think the Bible explicitly said that. I think there was some discussion of distribution of land among landowners' children.
Mel: But even the well-to-do children don't get married for a looong time.
11:48 PM me: That's a good point. I'll have to think about that one.
Some movie stars marry young.
Some movie stars stay single for a very long time, though.
11:49 PM Mel: A friend of mine got married at 30 just because "it's time". Not that she wanted it so much. She does enjoy it now, but it was still quite interesting. She and her husband earn quite a lot. So, money wasn't an issue here.
me: The very rich, very quiet son of John and Yoko didn't marry, or if he did it was in secret... Your post just reminded me of an interesting true story in my life...
11:50 PM A man I knew was from Pakistan. He flirted with me a lot and...
11:51 PM We went out only once as it happened. He told me that people in his country got married when they were 25, traditionally. Suddenly, I understood. "Oh, I get it. You're 25 and you want to get married." He showed me his ID. He wanted to marry me.
And of course his ID said he was 25.
Mel: So... ?
Did you? :)
me: No.
11:52 PM Mel: Why not?
me: At the time I thought I wasn't allowed to marry a Muslim. Years later I was dating another Muslim and I asked the Church and they said I was allowed.
11:53 PM But this guy took an arranged marriage instead.
Mel: Is it really allowed? I didn't know that.
me: I was surprised, but apparently it is.
11:54 PM I don't think it would be allowed in the Orthodox Church. The Pauline tradition must be stronger over there than here. We're more into Peter, I think.
11:55 PM I went to an Orthodox Church for Easter a few weeks ago with [a guy who likes me]
That's what single people do a lot of times -- hang out with other single people [who like them.]
But often it [doesn't lead to mutual affection.] People get old and keep trying.
11:56 PM Mel: Is he nice?
me: yes
I'm not in love with him.
Mel: I see.
11:57 PM Maybe it'll come in a while.
Perhaps he is shy and you haven't yet seen all his best qualities.
11:58 PM me: He's not shy, but you're right in that I probably haven't seen all his best qualities.
Last night I dreamed about a Russian [probably a 3rd or 4th generation Russo-American, Nicola] I liked four years ago.
In the dream I felt the feelings again. They are feelings that are harder to remember when I am awake.
Did you get married?
11:59 PM Mel: Not yet.
Too soon for marriage.
12:00 AM me: Interesting.
Your feeling that it's too soon is what we're trying to understand, anthropologically.
12:01 AM Mel: No, in my case this exactly what you were talking about earlier: a house and money.
12:02 AM me: Oh, I see. Got it. Wow. We should re-shape the economy to accommodate young people. Seriously. I keep daydreaming about writing to Oprah and asking her to buy Haiti so she can show all the Communists and the Capitalists how to fuse the two ideologies to make things really work for everybody.
12:03 AM Mel: :)
12:04 AM It's just how it is and I think it will always be.
What we can do is work hard to make good fortune for our children.
12:06 AM me: I'm more hopeful. After thousands of years, slavery is now illegal everywhere. That's a good start but there's more to be done. A while back there were people up the road [shorthand for a few exits up the highway -- something I saw in Time Magazine once pertaining to New York and some unfortunate immigrants] keeping slaves. I don't know if they've been busted... Progress comes slowly.
I was thinking if the world community can eradicate slavery maybe we can do away with poverty.
12:07 AM I mean, as a next step.
When I was a child there was a hero around here who did an amazing thing.
He turned the tide against racism.
12:08 AM Somebody shot him dead -- Martin Luther King Jr, you know him?
Mel: Certainly!!
me: People thought he couldn't do what he did, that things would always be the same.
Mel: He did a great thing.
me: Now when people ride the train and they see black children and white playing together they are amazed.
12:10 AM I feel like I'm keeping you from work and me from sleep but I just love this conversation. I don't know what to do. ...
I don't always know what to think, but I've been surprised so many times I just think that anything is possible.
Mel: It's OK. There is plenty of time for me to work. I've got the weekend. But perhaps you need to get some sleep after the hard day.
12:11 AM It is. But for everyone to be well-of will take some time. Too many lazy people around. And hard-working ones won't want to pay for the lazy.
12:12 AM me: I have a theory about that but it's hard to explain.
12:13 AM Maybe I should think it over before I try. I'm disappointed in myself because I feel like I should be able to explain things quickly and easily because I'm a writer.
In Seattle I had a roommate...
12:14 AM Mel: OK.
me: If I took his trash out as well as mine he wasn't pleased. To him, his garbage was his, and mine was min...
mine...
12:15 AM But if I went out in the cold to the recycling bins and all I did was take out my own garbage, I felt like I had accomplished nothing.
Because I made the trash and I took it out. And I went through all that bother just to zero out my own impact.
But if I took out Jake's garbage too, at least I had accomplished something.
12:16 AM It made me feel better about having done some work.
I think that deep down a lot of people feel that way --
That they're wasting their time if they only take care of their own mess or their own needs.
12:17 AM Mel: Well, he was your roommate, but if a strange would ask you to take out their garbage, you wouldn't be pleased. And if 100 stranges would ask...
1000 strangers...
It's a little different.
me: Maybe, but if I'm going out in the cold anyway I might as well carry all I can carry.
12:18 AM Mel: I wouldn't want to work and feed 10,000 lazy, healthy and young people, just because they don't want to work.
That's true.
me: I'd feel very accomplished if I were Hercules and I could carry out 100 people's junk.
Do you think there are kids with no dreams for a career?
Mel: :)
me: I think all the kids want to do something.
Mel: Of course, plenty of them.
12:19 AM I've met many who don't care.
12:20 AM me: A long time ago I was afraid to have a career because I thought it would limit my horizons, but I hadn't thought it through -- what horizons? Beyond the horizon is what people dream of accomplishing. If somebody doesn't want that at all maybe he's depressed. Frankly, I was and am depressed, but even I have goals. And I always had dreams. I realize there are people too beaten down to keep caring, though.
12:22 AM I knew some punk rockers who didn't want to do anything but drugs and music. They went to work so they could buy drugs and pay for their hiding place. I wish I could figure them out. But I'm not curious enough to try the drugs. Those guys were mean. I don't want to take anything that would make me mean.
12:24 AM One thing I'll say for communists who want to support drug addicts in relative comfort -- Druggies aren't quite as scary when they have a house and food. If they're needy they're very scary.
Mel: Yes, those guys are incredible. But some of them got popular and earned tons of money.
12:25 AM me: The guys I knew used to be stars. They were rich by their own measure. They hired a chauffer to drive them around before they were old enough to drive.
They were local stars.
Successful musicians but not nationally known.
12:26 AM Well, it is quite late and you've given me plenty to think about. Plus, I'm out of intelligent replies. So I'll go to bed soon. [Text pertaining to web project omitted]
12:27 AM Mel: It's not properly launched yet.
me: Hey, Mel, would you mind if I put this conversation on my blog? I won't do it if you don't want me to.
Mel: We'll launch it soon. THere is still some little tiny details to finish.
me: OK
12:28 AM Mel: I don't mind, of course.
me: Thanks.
Mel: But I'd prefer if you don't mention my name there.
12:29 AM me: Oh, right. OK, I'll change that. My ex-fiancee, my roommate, everybody has an alias. Would you like to be "John" for the purpose of my blog?
Mel: Hmmm.. let me think.
Let it be Mel.
:)
12:30 AM Sounds fun.
me: OK, Mel.
Mel: :D
me: Goodnight, then, Mel. Have a great weekend.
:)
Mel: Goodnight!
Thank you. You too!
me: Hi
11:27 PM Mel: Hey!
me: As you can see, I still have some work to do.
11:28 PM Halloween was the hardest thing to write about. In fact, my community already went over to the controversy.
11:29 PM Mel: Why was it hard?
me: There's so much fighting about Halloween here. One community after another is taking it out of schools. I thought Pennsylvania was ahead of the curve in this matter but when I googled it the first example that came up was from Texas.
11:30 PM Mel: It's news to me. I thought everyone liked this holiday.
me: And it's not just the fighting. I have to admit, I pretty much side with the faction that doesn't want Halloween to be a spooky masquerade. The Church Vigil part is OK by me.
11:31 PM Mel: OK, I'll have a look then.
11:32 PM me: Historically, this is very interesting.
11:33 PM It's good to see you, though. I was lonely. And I was working very hard on so many things -- teaching my class, gardening, taking care of my animals, helping my family, trying to fix my mother's computer (this time I wasn't able to do it by myself.)
11:34 PM My dog has come over to the computer.
11:35 PM Mel: You've got so many things to do!
I think that's good.
For me it's also going to be a very busy day.
Friday usually is crazy.
But then weekend is coming. Time to rest.
11:36 PM me: Oh, yes.
11:38 PM There is a pretty, smart and popular girl in the class I teach. I noticed that boys misbehave to make her happy instead of behaving to make me happy. This time she had boys playing tag with her in class, so I asked another teacher to come in and yell at her. I didn't know what else to do. I can't yell and I had already asked everyone to behave.
Mel: How old are they?
11:39 PM me: seven and eight, mostly. Maybe some are six. The girl I talked about, Chloe is eight.
They've been sitting still for six hours by the time I get there.
They're ready to break loose.
I think their school day is too long.
11:40 PM I wish I could teach this on a Sunday instead.
Mel: 6 hours is far too long.
That's strange that boys already start to behave like this in front of girls. Isn't it too early for them?
11:41 PM me: I don't know. Sometimes it happens with some kids. I noticed one seven-year-old boy had a girlfriend.
When I was in Kindergarten I liked a boy and he liked me too. But we didn't talk about it.
Mel: Wow!
me: I know.
11:42 PM Some boys think girls are icky and don't want to play with them.
That sounds more like my generation.
11:43 PM Mel: Interestingly, people start paying paying attention to such kind of stuff at this early age, but marriages tend to be later and later.
11:44 PM me: I've read things in the Bible that remind me of that.
If I'm not mistaken, some passages that refer to economic downturns say something like, "... and maidens and young men languished."
11:45 PM The Jews in the Bible apparently had the sense to build houses for their kids when they wanted them to get married.
Now kids figure they can't afford the house or anything else so they just forget about it for a long time.
11:47 PM I don't know what gave me the idea they were building the houses. I don't think the Bible explicitly said that. I think there was some discussion of distribution of land among landowners' children.
Mel: But even the well-to-do children don't get married for a looong time.
11:48 PM me: That's a good point. I'll have to think about that one.
Some movie stars marry young.
Some movie stars stay single for a very long time, though.
11:49 PM Mel: A friend of mine got married at 30 just because "it's time". Not that she wanted it so much. She does enjoy it now, but it was still quite interesting. She and her husband earn quite a lot. So, money wasn't an issue here.
me: The very rich, very quiet son of John and Yoko didn't marry, or if he did it was in secret... Your post just reminded me of an interesting true story in my life...
11:50 PM A man I knew was from Pakistan. He flirted with me a lot and...
11:51 PM We went out only once as it happened. He told me that people in his country got married when they were 25, traditionally. Suddenly, I understood. "Oh, I get it. You're 25 and you want to get married." He showed me his ID. He wanted to marry me.
And of course his ID said he was 25.
Mel: So... ?
Did you? :)
me: No.
11:52 PM Mel: Why not?
me: At the time I thought I wasn't allowed to marry a Muslim. Years later I was dating another Muslim and I asked the Church and they said I was allowed.
11:53 PM But this guy took an arranged marriage instead.
Mel: Is it really allowed? I didn't know that.
me: I was surprised, but apparently it is.
11:54 PM I don't think it would be allowed in the Orthodox Church. The Pauline tradition must be stronger over there than here. We're more into Peter, I think.
11:55 PM I went to an Orthodox Church for Easter a few weeks ago with [a guy who likes me]
That's what single people do a lot of times -- hang out with other single people [who like them.]
But often it [doesn't lead to mutual affection.] People get old and keep trying.
11:56 PM Mel: Is he nice?
me: yes
I'm not in love with him.
Mel: I see.
11:57 PM Maybe it'll come in a while.
Perhaps he is shy and you haven't yet seen all his best qualities.
11:58 PM me: He's not shy, but you're right in that I probably haven't seen all his best qualities.
Last night I dreamed about a Russian [probably a 3rd or 4th generation Russo-American, Nicola] I liked four years ago.
In the dream I felt the feelings again. They are feelings that are harder to remember when I am awake.
Did you get married?
11:59 PM Mel: Not yet.
Too soon for marriage.
12:00 AM me: Interesting.
Your feeling that it's too soon is what we're trying to understand, anthropologically.
12:01 AM Mel: No, in my case this exactly what you were talking about earlier: a house and money.
12:02 AM me: Oh, I see. Got it. Wow. We should re-shape the economy to accommodate young people. Seriously. I keep daydreaming about writing to Oprah and asking her to buy Haiti so she can show all the Communists and the Capitalists how to fuse the two ideologies to make things really work for everybody.
12:03 AM Mel: :)
12:04 AM It's just how it is and I think it will always be.
What we can do is work hard to make good fortune for our children.
12:06 AM me: I'm more hopeful. After thousands of years, slavery is now illegal everywhere. That's a good start but there's more to be done. A while back there were people up the road [shorthand for a few exits up the highway -- something I saw in Time Magazine once pertaining to New York and some unfortunate immigrants] keeping slaves. I don't know if they've been busted... Progress comes slowly.
I was thinking if the world community can eradicate slavery maybe we can do away with poverty.
12:07 AM I mean, as a next step.
When I was a child there was a hero around here who did an amazing thing.
He turned the tide against racism.
12:08 AM Somebody shot him dead -- Martin Luther King Jr, you know him?
Mel: Certainly!!
me: People thought he couldn't do what he did, that things would always be the same.
Mel: He did a great thing.
me: Now when people ride the train and they see black children and white playing together they are amazed.
12:10 AM I feel like I'm keeping you from work and me from sleep but I just love this conversation. I don't know what to do. ...
I don't always know what to think, but I've been surprised so many times I just think that anything is possible.
Mel: It's OK. There is plenty of time for me to work. I've got the weekend. But perhaps you need to get some sleep after the hard day.
12:11 AM It is. But for everyone to be well-of will take some time. Too many lazy people around. And hard-working ones won't want to pay for the lazy.
12:12 AM me: I have a theory about that but it's hard to explain.
12:13 AM Maybe I should think it over before I try. I'm disappointed in myself because I feel like I should be able to explain things quickly and easily because I'm a writer.
In Seattle I had a roommate...
12:14 AM Mel: OK.
me: If I took his trash out as well as mine he wasn't pleased. To him, his garbage was his, and mine was min...
mine...
12:15 AM But if I went out in the cold to the recycling bins and all I did was take out my own garbage, I felt like I had accomplished nothing.
Because I made the trash and I took it out. And I went through all that bother just to zero out my own impact.
But if I took out Jake's garbage too, at least I had accomplished something.
12:16 AM It made me feel better about having done some work.
I think that deep down a lot of people feel that way --
That they're wasting their time if they only take care of their own mess or their own needs.
12:17 AM Mel: Well, he was your roommate, but if a strange would ask you to take out their garbage, you wouldn't be pleased. And if 100 stranges would ask...
1000 strangers...
It's a little different.
me: Maybe, but if I'm going out in the cold anyway I might as well carry all I can carry.
12:18 AM Mel: I wouldn't want to work and feed 10,000 lazy, healthy and young people, just because they don't want to work.
That's true.
me: I'd feel very accomplished if I were Hercules and I could carry out 100 people's junk.
Do you think there are kids with no dreams for a career?
Mel: :)
me: I think all the kids want to do something.
Mel: Of course, plenty of them.
12:19 AM I've met many who don't care.
12:20 AM me: A long time ago I was afraid to have a career because I thought it would limit my horizons, but I hadn't thought it through -- what horizons? Beyond the horizon is what people dream of accomplishing. If somebody doesn't want that at all maybe he's depressed. Frankly, I was and am depressed, but even I have goals. And I always had dreams. I realize there are people too beaten down to keep caring, though.
12:22 AM I knew some punk rockers who didn't want to do anything but drugs and music. They went to work so they could buy drugs and pay for their hiding place. I wish I could figure them out. But I'm not curious enough to try the drugs. Those guys were mean. I don't want to take anything that would make me mean.
12:24 AM One thing I'll say for communists who want to support drug addicts in relative comfort -- Druggies aren't quite as scary when they have a house and food. If they're needy they're very scary.
Mel: Yes, those guys are incredible. But some of them got popular and earned tons of money.
12:25 AM me: The guys I knew used to be stars. They were rich by their own measure. They hired a chauffer to drive them around before they were old enough to drive.
They were local stars.
Successful musicians but not nationally known.
12:26 AM Well, it is quite late and you've given me plenty to think about. Plus, I'm out of intelligent replies. So I'll go to bed soon. [Text pertaining to web project omitted]
12:27 AM Mel: It's not properly launched yet.
me: Hey, Mel, would you mind if I put this conversation on my blog? I won't do it if you don't want me to.
Mel: We'll launch it soon. THere is still some little tiny details to finish.
me: OK
12:28 AM Mel: I don't mind, of course.
me: Thanks.
Mel: But I'd prefer if you don't mention my name there.
12:29 AM me: Oh, right. OK, I'll change that. My ex-fiancee, my roommate, everybody has an alias. Would you like to be "John" for the purpose of my blog?
Mel: Hmmm.. let me think.
Let it be Mel.
:)
12:30 AM Sounds fun.
me: OK, Mel.
Mel: :D
me: Goodnight, then, Mel. Have a great weekend.
:)
Mel: Goodnight!
Thank you. You too!
train wreck
4th hour PM and my day is already looking like a train wreck. Fixing Mom's computer was first on the list ... and there's been so much stress... and it's not quite fixed yet... and my bank card got scammed and canceled just in time to avoid fraudulent charges, so now I can't shop with it. And I didn't get a shower this morning. I'm filthy. I can smell myself. I'm on the rag. The stress mounted up and the day is ending with a predictable trajectory... and I'd had so much I wanted to write.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Why Won't My Child Eat Vegetables?
First off, I never had a child. I used that title for the sake of the millions whose children won't eat vegetables...
My theory is that it's the preparation and/or processing of the vegetables that is to blame. Fresh picked, steamed vegetables are a treat; but put it in a can with preservatives, or cook it with grease or margarine or too much salt, and it really sucks. I submit that kids can sense this and that is why they reject the food.
Here is my personal experience: It seems that, circa 1970, canned foods were worse than they are today -- either that or I was much more attuned to how bad they were back in the day. For a long time I was convinced that I didn't like peas in particular. But then something changed.
When I was six my parents took me to a pea farm where we could pick our own peas. Then we went back to our hotel room and simply steamed them -- amazing! Peas instantly became my favorite food.
My parents knew that we couldn't hang out on the DelMarVa Penninsula and pick peas all the time, so how were they to get the fresh peas back home in Baltimore? They decided that frozen was close enough to fresh if it was gently steamed, and it pretty much worked out (although it wasn't quite the same.) Our sensitive young palates had identified the subtle flavor of the fresh peas, and could pick it out in gently prepared frozen peas to some extent. It was enough. We never got another can of peas, and I never again rejected peas.
I saw Super Nanny do something like this for a troupe of finicky youngsters on TV, and it worked for them too!
So to sum up, if you make the vegetables as healthy and delicious as can be, children might just come to love the vegetables. I think that what I disliked 40 years ago was salt, not peas.
My theory is that it's the preparation and/or processing of the vegetables that is to blame. Fresh picked, steamed vegetables are a treat; but put it in a can with preservatives, or cook it with grease or margarine or too much salt, and it really sucks. I submit that kids can sense this and that is why they reject the food.
Here is my personal experience: It seems that, circa 1970, canned foods were worse than they are today -- either that or I was much more attuned to how bad they were back in the day. For a long time I was convinced that I didn't like peas in particular. But then something changed.
When I was six my parents took me to a pea farm where we could pick our own peas. Then we went back to our hotel room and simply steamed them -- amazing! Peas instantly became my favorite food.
My parents knew that we couldn't hang out on the DelMarVa Penninsula and pick peas all the time, so how were they to get the fresh peas back home in Baltimore? They decided that frozen was close enough to fresh if it was gently steamed, and it pretty much worked out (although it wasn't quite the same.) Our sensitive young palates had identified the subtle flavor of the fresh peas, and could pick it out in gently prepared frozen peas to some extent. It was enough. We never got another can of peas, and I never again rejected peas.
I saw Super Nanny do something like this for a troupe of finicky youngsters on TV, and it worked for them too!
So to sum up, if you make the vegetables as healthy and delicious as can be, children might just come to love the vegetables. I think that what I disliked 40 years ago was salt, not peas.
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