Letter Sent to Erstwhile Travel Companion who Offended

Hi Mike,

Remember about 10 years ago when you said your other [erstwhile] friends thought you were an "a-%*)$" and I was the only one you had left? I figure those people did you wrong in as much as they blew out the door without any discussion. I'm not exactly blowing out the door myself but I feel there should be some dialog.

You say I'm overly sensitive about little things, but think about it. It's in the little things we say and do -- a tone of voice, an expression of attitude -- that we express respect or lack thereof. It's not my job to tell people how to behave outside of any relationship with me, but I do insist on being treated with respect. Yesterday even as we were trying to work things out I noticed that you scoffed at me three times. It was just more of the same. In dance class you caught it on tape, but with me you didn't catch it at all.

I said to my father, "Do you think there will come a point where Mike forgets the stuff about thinking I'm overly sensitive and just remembers that he hurt me and he should try to behave?" But Dad said, no, he didn't think you would because you didn't strike him as the kind of guy who would consider information that might reflect badly on himself. I don't think he's entirely right about that because you did tape yourself in class and you stopped making disrespectful comments there.

Let me tell you about the trip. I actually had something of a good time. I played my guitar and had no work to do and a pleasant change of scenery. I got $48 worth of retail therapy whereas I hardly ever get to spend an appreciable amount of discretionary money. For an old gal, I pretty much had a blast. That doesn't mean I wasn't taken aback by some of the stuff you said. I don't see any contradiction there. Somehow you do, and that's a mystery to me.

The trip started badly when I had to pull every card out of my sleeve to save our plans from the impasse you set up. Somehow you thought it was more important to leave yourself the option of hanging out late if you felt like it, than to let me get back here in time to help my family. (This was before I worked out an alternate date with Bobby et al.) When I got off the phone I said to my mother, "I don't know how anyone could be that mean." And she said, "If he's that mean, why are you going?" I said, "Because I don't want to be a fink. He spent the money and we made a plan; I owe it to him to go." And that was that. I decided that I would make the best of it that I possibly could even though I didn't really feel like going. And I succeeded in that. I started off by giving you flowers and saying, "Happy vacation, Michael K!" I also made a point of not reacting too quickly when I thought I was being slighted, but to wait and think things over, sleep on them, and see how I ultimately felt. I succeeded in that, because I have a lot of practice in that kind of restraint. It is my usual habit. I did good last weekend!

[Text omitted -- makes little sense out of context and doesn't contribute to post.]

-- Kitty

P.S. The buckwheat benefitted me, too, with a few calls from Mother Nature. I think we should both make buckwheat a regular part of our diets.