Thursday, August 29, 2013

Don't Die, Baby!


Don’t die, Baby!

Part of you doesn’t believe it.  Part of you doesn’t want to believe it.  But part of you believes it, which is why you haven’t died yet. 

There are things yet to live for, even though the things you used to live for are gone.

This may sound like small potatoes to you if you have a “real problem,” but when I lost my beloved to a breakup I felt I had lost everything.  Because everywhere I turned, my reason for living was gone.  But my beloved said, “Move toward the light,” so I made that my mantra.  I saw glorious September shining through flower petals as I tended the gardens I planted to ease my broken heart.  The flowers, the sun, my God, the ocean, my beloved, the words of my beloved – none of these Entities was any less glorious because the bond of my relationship was broken.  At length I was happy to live in a universe where such Glory could exist, and where I could love and appreciate that Glory.

Imagine for a few minutes the plight of an angel so fallen that he cannot love anything (I don’t know if there are such.)  Think of his motivations winking out one by one because there is no reward for anything he might do.  Then come back to reality and praise God for your own loving heart.  You’ll see there’s a Guiding Light, something to live for.

Nature heals its creatures, gives them new life and new purpose.  God does too.  Give them a chance.  Move toward the light.


Important disclaimers:

I hereby disclaim any assertion about God, things Biblical, etc. with the qualification, “If I’m not mistaken.”

(and of course, the ubiquitous)  The foregoing is not intended to take the place of your doctor’s advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.  Discuss this information with your own physician or healthcare provider to determine what is right for you. 


Monday, September 27, 2010

Wow! Thank you All for Reading!

My heart is grateful to you all for reading "I Can't Complain." I had thought no one was reading until I looked up the statistics and found that I have friends in many different countries. Hugs all around.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

This Poem is Hereby (re-)Copyrighted by Me

To preface the poem, let me just say that it spun out of a Star Trek fan fiction parody and role-playing writing group after someone introduced a floating Martian walrus as a non-player character. I decided to make it a Beatles parody too.

I am he
as you are we
and he is me
and we are all together

see how we float
like pigs in a boat
see how we fly
don't cry

tachyonic warp-flares
telling of the strife to come
endothermic t-shirts
don't thaw me 'til Tuesday
man, you've been a naughty
boy you let your warp core blow

he is a space dude
I am a space chick
I am a walrus
Goo goo ga-choo

expert electronic brains
are navigating your whole world
for you
isn't it nice?
trust PAL with your life
believe what you like
don't cry

don't cry
don't cry
don't cry

big Rihannsu war-bird
twenty kilometres off
their ship's aim is perfect
what would Captain Kirk do?
sound the red alert
the multi-phasic sheilds are down.

he is a space dude
she is a space chick
i am a walrus
goo goo ga-choo

sitting in an English garden
waiting for the sun
if the sun don't come
it's 'cause the holodeck
is out of juicy-juice

he is a space dude
she is a space chick
i am a walrus
goo goo ga-choo

goo goo ga-choo
ga goo goo ga choo ga goo

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Now That I'm in the Band

Well, now I have new friends in Maryland. They go places and do things and now I am with them! I'll be playing keyboards, guitar and backup vocals.

OK, I'm attracted to someone in the band. I might as well admit it, if only in this blog. But I'm not going to do anything about it except be really nice to the guy and be a really good friend. The main reason for this is that he has two divorces under his belt, and nobody can get two annullments -- so why start anything? I'm not going to. I don't have to. I like hanging out with him and making music. What more do I need?

It's a lot like the way I feel about Captain Kirk. I like him better with the Klingon women than with me.

Pursuant to Previous Post

By "house chores will always be there and will never be done;" what I really meant was that they'll never be finished. Of course they're "done," in that people spend lots of precious time doing them. They just can't be finished because maintentance is an ongoing thing.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Brain Dump

Ah, when will I learn to compose offline?

I found a solution for my friend's water ...

But not for mine. I hear my well pump needs help. I haven't been home...

Too many disperate things need my attention. I might have fixed up my property more, but I get embedded in the web of concerns that belongs to this place that I'm in...

It isn't healthy the way I carry on here. I rush through a to-do list that's never the same twice. Lacking is the sense that I'm building something of value. When I had a Star Trek writing club I had a reason to get up in the -- er, well, afternoon. I had a life of dreams to cherish, a reason to rush through my chores. It's hard to get started with stuff like that again. You think, "What for? I'm not gonna get time to make it a regular thiing." My father said I should force myself to do fun things until they really become fun.

The "life of dreams to cherish" was bigger than any hobby, but supported by all of them.

I need exercise. One Idea I have is to ask the neighbor to walk with me regularly. She might be too busy and/or athletic for walking. And the weather can really suck around here. Lately it's been good in the evening though. Maybe she'll do it.

Tomorrow I have an art school meeting. I'll bring the bagels and cream cheese, if I remember them.

Here's something I should do -- should should should do but I can see myself somehow not doing it. When I talked about addressing this problem my mother pointed out the housework that doesn't get done and complained that I tend to get involved in other people's problems while things don't always get done around here. My take on it is, house chores will always be there and will never be done; while other people's problems are a big part of what Christians are on Earth for. So here's this thing I should do ...

What I should do is write to Child Protective Services and tell them about the child I saw being abused on TV's "Wife Swap." Reality TV pays people to behave badly in the name of entertainment; but abuse is not entertainment, so if you see abuse happening on Reality TV it seems likely to be real. I want to tell them about Michaela. I don't know what episode, when it was aired, where she's from or what her last name was. I was probably doing chores while the show was on, and didn't really see much of it. The problem is that her parents make her work all the time. On the show, her father made her fetch something for him that he could almost reach, apparently just to underscore his mastery. The indication was that he treated her that way all the time. He didn't allow her to have any friends. She was being denied the chance to learn and grow the way other kids do. Well, hopefully if Child Protective Services views the tape they'll see what I saw and I won't have to scratch my head for ways to describe it. Michaela, I hope you have a fan club online! I hope someone is already in your corner. I hope your parents take turns serving jail time and supporting the family.

OCD = big worry machine... I need exercise to blow the cobwebs out of my mind...

I was going to walk 6 miles around the State Fair with a friend, but he backed out twice. I won't be making any plans with him anymore that require me to go out of my way. Sure, I'll stop at Starbuck's on my way home from Church. But that's the extent of it. I won't go half a mile out of my way to meet up with him because everything is too tentative with him.

One problem I have is that this isn't Seattle. There's nobody beating down the door and nobody ringing the phone off the wall. If I want to talk to anyone ... I'm S.O.L. I almost had nobody to even ask to go to the fair...

I got that mean drunk from Annapolis out of my life. I got rid of a similar type last year. And it helps to avoid malicious or disrespectful people. Mind you, I don't tell them to never call and never write; that's wrong because something important may need to be said at some point, among other things. I just don't hang out with them or count them as friends. I don't concern myself with them...

And like I said it helps to get rid of certain people but then the challenge is on to find better friends to replace them with. Will the neighbor really walk with me? Will anyone want to take me to the fair? I haven't cultivated enough of a social network here in Maryland, to put it mildly...

It's very late and I'm falling asleep.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Just Say No

Not every day, nor not every week, but sometimes your brain just says "no" to just about anything you propose. The sandman pounds on your door at some strange time of the day.

It's enough to make one sympathize with those who do an occasional line of coke. I have never, ever tried it. Something deep inside me knee-jerks a "Just say no!" But logically, if it were legal, it would make a lot of sense for those times when your mind just isn't at your disposal.