Attention Kindergarten Teachers

True, I believe I've covered this topic before. But it came out so nice this time and I figured it bore repeating. Now, I don't know how kindergarten teachers would address or circumlocute the idea of menses, but they're smart; they'll find the right note to hit. Here, then, is a letter I wrote to a friend about chivalry:


Hi [buddy,]

Just a heads-up. I think I'm scheduled to be on the rag on the weekend of the shindig. I'll tend to be bloated, thirsty and uncomfortable. I'll be running to the bathroom a lot. And if I'm bleeding too heavily or if I don't feel good, I can't spend the night, even though the accommodations you're making sound great. Just so you know. I'll do my best. (Try to make it easy for me to make my own decision, because I'm not a fighter.)


It's funny. When my kindergarten teacher taught chivalry I thought it was a stupid idea. But more recently I've come to understand -- women are hard put by our own biology, for everyone's sake, whether we actually reproduce or not, just so that the potential for reproduction can exist in our species. Chivalry is a way of giving the ladies a break for all that. But try telling that to a five-year-old. I don't know what that teacher was thinking.

But I know what Carol Brady was thinking with that high-maintenance hairdo wherewith she started her show. She was saying she belonged on a pedestal so high that even her fancy hair would stay put. It was the equivalent of painted nails and white gloves. It said, "Don't ask me to fix the roof or move heavy furniture. I'm a lady."

Personally I'm not doing the high-maintenance hairdo or avoiding all the grunt work, but I really respect the chicks who do. I may never be entirely comfortable with the door-holding thing either, but I can appreciate where it's coming from. Just interesting, isn't it? Maybe I'll send this letter to some kindergarten teachers.

See you in a month.

Kitty