Why I Can't Complain

(Sunday I write:) This was a wonderful Sunday. I had been to Church on Saturday, so today I did other things. With the TV blaring in the background it's hard to write, but that's par for the course around here; Russ loves TV. I drew a picture, then rode bikes and played tennis with my friend Donald. This is the kind of day people look forward to, the kind of day I haven't had in a long time. The scenery was awesome. We're talking suburbia with flowers and a park with a lake. Gee it's hard to write with TV going on.

(Monday I add:) The problem is, to have a nice day like that, people need to feel that their chosen activities are the best use of their time. That's hard to manage with all the stuff life sends at you. Often when people ask what I do in my spare time I return a blank stare before I manage to remember that I do try to relax in between chores, with tea or a magazine or maybe email. (Also, I get side-tracked by the TV because it runs every single night whether I want to watch or not.) And here you'd think that because I have "so many chores" that I must live a very rewarding life. But in fact many of the things I do, like pursuing a certain job, for example, turn out to be futile. Still, they must be attempted. Some things I do, like paying or putting off creditors, staying on top of correspondence, and filing various forms, are primarily a means of staying out of trouble, not working for a reward. And then there's housework. I'm way behind on that. That would be reason enough to nix a tennis date in the ordinary course of things. I was almost relieved that it rained today so that I can get stuff done instead of feeling like I should be exercising. What a turn-around from my attitude yesterday! Nobody can afford gas anymore, so my walking to the grocery store and bussing downtown for job interviews no longer raises an eyebrow. The usual errands take more time for everyone now. My father said that in Baltimore where he works, shopping centers on the bus lines are making more money, while shopping centers not accessable by bus nor train are losing out! I'd like to add, when emotional depression hits, everything seems to take longer than you thought it should.



Sunday's food diary: strawberries x 1.5 cups (150 calories,) 1/2 omelet (100 calories,) apple (50,) diet shake (100,) another diet shake (100,) 1/3 cup coffee (0,) jello (70,) 1/2 banana (55,) cherries (50,) more jello (70,) banana (110,) peanuts (600,) veggies + tablespoon of olive oil (420,) cottage cheese (70,) partial pancake with no butter or anything (50.) That's a lot of grub. I was doing very well keeping it under 1600 most of the time, until today. But that workout took 3 hours so I forgive myself the peanuts. The peanuts are what blew it for me. They're so yum!

(Monday again) And now comes Monday. I was so depressed I didn't want to get out of bed. Monday is when I face certain economic realities that are such a downer that I just erased them. Do you know why I call my blog, "I Can't Complain?" I took the words from the Beatles' "It's Getting Better All the Time." They seem to be saying that the persona can't complain because the Lord has been through worse. When people ask how I am, how I'm doing, I say, "I can't complain," or, "It's like the Beatles say, I can't complain," or something like that.