Monday, February 23, 2009

ISO Closure -- Steal My Letter

Recently I placed a personal ad for the first time in my life. Quel experience. Anyway, I found myself writing this rather self-explanatory letter to one of the respondents -- a letter that belongs in my blog, not only because it expresses me, but because others can use variations thereof to seek the closure you don't get when people are vague or non-explicit about rejecting you, or when you're not sure if they are rejecting you.

I've always felt that there is honor and dignity in being explicit, and this kind of letter gives both parties a crack at it. If readers feel the same way, they are welcomed to STEAL MY LETTER, altering it in any way appropriate to their particular situation. OK, here goes:


Dear Kyle,

I haven't heard from you much lately and I realize that it's possible
that you've rejected me. I don't blame you if you have. For one
thing, I'm old. For another thing, I'm a stranger. Also, I have a
theory that we never quite know what we're reacting to when we decide
for or against courting a particular individual -- ya know?

My only thing is, I need your help with this. My being in the dating
game means I'm going to face rejection repeatedly; and it would really
help me to clear these hurdles emotionally if I knew for sure when
someone was passing me by (versus just being busy) and (as far as
you/he can tell) what they don't like about me. The challenge to my
vanity in this case is that it was right after I sent you my pictures
that you stopped calling. Am I too skinny for you?

Having so said, if you drop the ball and don't write back, I have what
it takes to find closure on my own. But it would help if you would
clue me in. Also, I'm aware that it is still possible that you like
me so far but haven't had time to communicate. I'm still open meeting
you, if you want.

Sincerely,
Kitty Lane

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